Written by Ruth Haley Barton, a contemporary author and spiritual director. This is adapted from Ted Loder’s “Guerrillas of Grace.”
Holy One, there is something I wanted to tell you, but there have been errands to run, bills to pay, arrangements to make, meetings to attend, friends to entertain, washing to do… and I forget what it is I wanted to say to you, and mostly I forget what I’m about or why. O God, don’t forget me, please, for the sake of Jesus Christ.
Eternal One, there is something I wanted to tell you, but my mind races with worrying and watching, with weighing and planning , with rutted slights and pothole grievances, with leaky dreams I keep trying to plug up; and my attention is preoccupied with loneliness, with doubt, and with things I covet; and I forget what it is I wanted to say to you, and how to say it honestly or how to do much of anything.
O God, don’t forget me, please, for the sake of Jesus Christ. Almighty One. There is something I wanted to tell you, but I stumble along the edge of a nameless rage, haunted by a hundred floating fears and … I forget what the real question is that I wanted to ask. and forgot to listen anyway because you seem unreal and far way, and I forgot what it is I have forgotten.
O God, don’t forget me, please, for the sake of Jesus Christ. O Father in heaven, perhaps you’ve already heard what I wanted to tell you. What I wanted to ask is forgive me, heal me, increase my courage, please. Renew in me a little of love and faith, and sense of confidence, and a vision of what it might mean to live as though you were real, and I mattered, and everyone was sister and brother. What I wanted to ask in my blundering way is don’t give up on me, don’t become too sad about me, but laugh with me, and try again with me, and I will with you, too. What I wanted to ask is for peace enough to want and work for more, for joy enough to share, and for a awareness that is keen enough to sense your presence here, now, there, then, always.
For the Lord your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your ancestors, which he confirmed to them by oath. [Deuteronomy 4:31]
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